Handing out wedding invitations: when, how and who first

Invitations usually go out two to three months before the wedding. Give them earlier to guests from far away, who need to plan travel, time off and a place to stay: up to four months before. A short save-the-date is worth sending even earlier if your wedding falls in peak season or on a long weekend.

Count backwards: the reply-by date is usually four to six weeks before the wedding, and guests need a few weeks to answer without rushing.

Traditionally you start with parents and grandparents, then your witnesses and closest family, then friends. Older relatives appreciate a visit and hearing first. Plan your routes: one afternoon with family in one town saves several trips.

With a QR code on the invitation, the way it's handed over doesn't affect the reply: guests scan it at home once they've checked their calendar, rather than answering on the doorstep.

• in person: the most traditional, especially for family and older guests,
• by post: for guests who are hard to visit; consider tracked post,
• a link or a photo of the invitation: for friends abroad and when time is short; include their personal reply link.

With dozens of invitations and two people handing them out, notes on a phone soon stop being enough. The Handing out page shows your progress, the invitations still to hand out and how they reached guests.

1. 1Open Handing out. The list shows the invitations still waiting.
2. 2After a visit, click Given today next to the invitation. The arrow beside it lets you choose post, a sent link or another day.
3. 3After several visits at once, select the invitations and click Mark as handed out, with one date for all of them.
4. 4Made a mistake? Undo with one click.

Reminders only cover guests who have their invitation but haven't replied. Invitations not yet handed out are listed apart on the Reminders page, where you can mark them as handed out with one tap. That way nobody is reminded about an invitation they've never seen.