How to collect wedding RSVPs without the stress

Invitations usually go out two to three months before the wedding. Set your reply-by date four to six weeks before the day. That leaves time to follow up with late repliers, and your venue and caterer get final numbers when they need them.

Before you pick a date, ask your venue when they need the final headcount and menu. Your reply-by date should be at least a week earlier.

A simple yes or no isn't enough. You'll save the most work by asking for everything you need up front:

• attendance for each invited person, not the whole invitation at once,
• the name of a plus one, if you invite someone with a guest,
• children's ages, since venues often price children's seats differently,
• diets and allergies, with room for a short note,
• accommodation and transport, if you organise them,
• attendance at a second-day party or other events you invite to separately.

Calls and texts are the easiest way to start, but replies soon get lost: they land on two phones, some guests use messaging apps, and the spreadsheet is never up to date.

Paper RSVP cards look lovely but have to be posted back and typed in by hand. A generic online form makes guests type their name and doesn't know who belongs to which invitation.

Easiest of all is a personal link or QR code for each invitation. Guests open their own page, see who is invited and answer for each person in under a minute. You know straight away who has replied and who hasn't.

A few people always forget. What works best is a short, personal message from you, by WhatsApp or text, with the reply-by date and the link to reply. It feels friendly, not pushy, and is usually enough.

Send the reminder about a week before your reply-by date. If that doesn't help, call: some older guests prefer to answer by phone, and you can record their reply yourself.

Your venue needs the number of adults and children (often by age group), special meals and allergies. If you arrange rooms or transport, you'll also need the number of rooms and seats.

Counting by hand invites mistakes, so collect replies somewhere that adds up attendance, diets, children's ages and rooms for you and prints a summary for the venue.

Guests reply without an app or an account, in English or Polish. We ask everything on the list above, extra events included, and you see replies live, with an email when someone answers.

1. 1Add your invitations by hand or upload your list from Excel.
2. 2Set your reply-by date and design the page guests see when they scan their code.
3. 3Print the QR codes or send guests their private links.
4. 4Watch replies arrive in your overview, and remind the few who forget with one tap.
5. 5Download the list as Excel or the PDF summary for your venue.